Today's Profile
Larenia -
I was planning on moving and I called my Mom... cause I needed
to tell her about those plans to leave Arizona and move to New York.
We scheduled a day to 'do lunch'... and it ended up being 'dinner'.
She started telling me about this thing she was doing... as a co-
facilitator with the Firestarters Program. She was showing me the
workbooks and pamphlets and stuff from White Bison for the program...
and she started telling me about this Journey.
She said she wanted to do this Walk for Wellbriety.... and
it sounded good. She invited me to come with her. I smiled and said
"that's kinda what I wanted to talk to you about".. I'm planning
on moving in a few months... and the time is soon... and I explained
how I felt at the time.. beiing in Tucson and why I wanted to move
and she said this sounds like it might be good for you. The more
I thought about it.. the better it sounded. So I began making preparations
to leave and went to Phoenix to meet everyone.
The attraction was the focus on domestic violence.. for women
and children.. cause I've been there.. the drug and alcohol abuse..
cause I've been there.. the suicide.. cause Ive been there. The
conferences topic and the Wellbriety it'self.. I could relate to
everything I had read about this Walk. And if I can learn and spread
that message to people.. just one person.. then I have done what
I needed to do.
It's been difficult... change is always hard. I get used
to my little realm.. my little world.. and I look at things that
I've stuffed inside.. like the suicide conference.. I had to face
a lot of personal 'stuff' during that conference. I still have a
lot of questions and not that many answers. My sponsor used to tell
me.. "I'm only here to help you find the questions.. you have the
answers." I have to learn to set aside all the anger, that pain,
that fear .. and underneath all those little barriers.. my answers
lie in there.
I love the running.. it gives me time to really think and
not be distracted by my feelings. I do a lot of praying.. I sing
a lot of songs.. and I spend time with myself and Creator when I'm
running. I think that's where I've been finding my answers.. when
everything else is at 'bay'.. I get to do a lot of soul searching
and sometimes I get clarity.. sometimes I don't.. but that's ok
too.. it will come.
Vette Asks 'Mouse': What do you hope to get out of this
Journey?
I don't know.. I think the more I go.. the longer I'm here...
more stuff comes up.. and I'm dealing with that as it happens. I
think it all depends upon whether I'm willing to talk and who I'm
willing to talk with. For others out there... I hope this Journey
brings some peace.. and a sense of serenity.. knowing that whatever
bad things are going on their life.. there is an outlet.. there
is an option.. there is somewhere they can go. They can walk thru
that fear.... knowing that others have walked thru that fear.. and
at least become 'willing' to make that change. That's the biggest
step to healing... to be willing.
My hope for everyone.. is that they know first and foremost
that they know they are important.. and that Creator is there in
all times.. good or bad.. and no matter what happens they can turn
to Him for that strength they don't have.. and that guidance they
don't have. Rely upon it... use it.
HI to all my friends and family... I miss you - you've all
been a big inspiration and given me a lot of hope for the future...
thank you.
- 'Mouse'